Why Cyclonic Rift is Irreplaceable, Part 2: System of a Storm
Part 1 explored the saltiness of the one-sided pseudo-board wipe that is Cyclonic Rift. Now I will delineate the factors that make Cyclonic Rift so unique and compare these to cards that could replace it. I will then point out how they all fall dramatically short.
First let’s define the most basic aspects of Cyclonic Rift: affects multiple players and returns many permanents to their owners’ hands. The main upsides to Cyclonic Rift specifically are that it is one-sided (only affects opponents) and instant speed. Some replacements can rise to the level of Cyc Rift in specific scenarios, but most are woefully lacking. I have devised a rudimentary system to grade these cards, which can then be compared to the OG Cyclonic Rift. There are 45 cards I’ve identified as Rift-adjacent, cards that can bounce multiple permanents or at least one per opponent/player. I also designed 3 alternatives to Cyc Rift that I brought up in my first Custom Card Design article, but here I’d like to evaluate them to see how they stack up against existing substitutes. Spoiler: they score pretty well, which was kind of the point of designing them.
I looked at mana value, including alternate costs (I consider Cyc Rift to be 7mv), instant/sorcery speed, symmetrical/asymmetrical, and which types of permanents it returns to their owners’ hands. My system gives +2 points if mv is 3 or less, +1 if mv is 4-6, +0 if mv is 7-8, -1 if mv is 9 or more. The card gets +2 points if it’s instant-speed. An asymmetrical effect (only opponents) is another +2 points. As for permanents the card can target: +2 points for creatures, +1 for artifacts, +1 for enchantments, and +0.5 for planeswalkers/battles. If you’re keeping track, Cyclonic Rift scores 8.5 in this system, and that is therefore our maximum score.
Additionally, some of these contenders have other restrictions and drawbacks, which will reduce their points even further. Here’s an overview of the drawbacks: -0.5 if it targets only a subset of creatures, -0.5 if it has marginal setup, -1 if it targets only 1 opponent (still gets the asymmetrical bonus in this paradigm), -1 if it has an expensive setup, -1 if it is based on # of islands (a combination of the setup cost and often not hitting every creature on the board), and -2 if it is highly color-restricted (targets only one color or only non-blue).
I’ve broken these 45 cards into 15 categories, which seems like a lot of categories, but it allows us to batch them together for a more efficient discussion. We’ll start with categories with the lowest average score and save the best for last.
15. Typal
Thing in the Ice/Awoken Horror (5), Cyclone Summoner (4), Raise the Palisade (3), Whelming Wave (2.5), Cresting Mosasaurus (2), and Slinn Voda (0.5). These suffer in the rankings because of generally high mana value and sorcery-speed effects. Thing in the Ice has quite a setup cost, but its low initial mana value and instant-speed activation awards it a fair amount of points in my scoring paradigm. This category is also restricted to creatures by definition, leaving artifacts and enchantments untouched (except Cyclone Summoner). Unfortunately you can’t abuse Cyclone Summoner with clone, blink, or reanimation effects, and the biggest downsides are that it is sorcery-speed and requires you to be a Giant or Wizard-based typal deck. Funnily enough, I’d argue that Whelming Wave is one of the better Rift replacements for a very specific deck, but it scores quite poorly since it is technically not asymmetrical. Raise the Palisade is similar, but it is more flexible and can thus fit in many more typal decks. Dinosaur typal is popular which makes Cresting Mosasaurus a strong interaction effect for a mostly creature-based deck, and you can cast it for cheaper using the Emerge cost. A majority of Dinosaur typal decks are in Naya, but the Jurassic Park crossover cards give some decent options containing blue. Slinn Voda costs a whopping 10 mana to get the mass bounce effect, which makes it one of the worst performing cards on this list.
If your commander deck is typal, then I’d consider Cyclone Summoner, Raise the Palisade, Whelming Wave, and Cresting Mosasaurus over or in addition to Cyc Rift.
14. Mechanical Restriction
Perplexing Test (4.5),Wave Goodbye (2.5), and Thousand Winds (2). Perplexing Test hits either token or nontoken creatures, Wave Goodbye cares about +1/+1 counters, and Thousand Winds only bounces if turned face up (at a hefty cost). Both Perplexing Test and Wave Goodbye can be built around, mitigating the symmetrical aspect. Perplexing Test is instant-speed, which is pretty nice. Thousand Winds just costs a lot of mana considering playing the morph for 3 and then turning it face-up for 7. And it only bounces tapped creatures to boot.
Wave Goodbye is an easier build-around than other restrictions, however +1/+1 counters are a popular mechanic so you may not actually bounce the creatures you want from your opponents’ boards. It is otherwise decently cost-efficient.
13. Island-based
Spectral Deluge (4), Engulf the Shore (4), Scourge of Fleets (3), and Floodgate (1). These all key off the number of Islands you control, only bouncing creatures with toughness less than or equal to that number. Spectral Deluge can be Foretold for a virtual mana value of 5, giving you the option to play it later. Engulf the Shore is competitive here almost solely because 4mv is decent and it is instant-speed. Scourge of Fleets can be blinked or cloned for additional value, and it is asymmetrical. Floodgate has some wonky setup alongside the island-based restriction, and only hits non-flying creatures. Though it does deal damage which is better than a simple bounce effect, but using half the number of islands makes this quite bad.
In a mono-blue deck these aren’t too bad but won’t deal with large creatures, which tend to be bigger threats.
12. High Cost
Hurkyl’s Final Meditation (4.5), Kederekt Leviathan (4.5), Waterspout Elemental (1.5), and Aethersquall Ancient (1). Naturally, this category takes a hit in the mana value category, except Waterspout Elemental. Hurkyl’s Final Meditation unfortunately costs 10 mana, which is a lot to hold up on an opponent’s turn, but does have the upside of ending the turn. Kederekt Leviathan could score some extra points for its Unearth ability, but I’m not giving bonus points in my scoring system just yet. Waterspout Elemental’s downside of losing a turn is substantial, and that’s why I added it to this category. Aethersquall Ancient is a steep setup cost, though with the recent boon of energy support cards maybe it’s playable?
11. One per Opponent
Decoy Gambit (5), Enigma Thief (4.5), and Zndrsplt’s Judgment (2). These won’t bounce your opponents’ entire boardstate, which is a big no-go when you want to be Cyclonic Rift. However, these are potential 3-for-1 spells, and that still holds value in commander. Decoy Gambit probably could have a larger penalty, but being a bad bounce spell and a bad card draw spell all in one is enough humiliation. Similarly, Zndrsplt’s Judgment doesn’t allow you to choose which creature your opponent returns to their hand. At least Enigma Thief lets you target the permanents you want to bounce, but if you want to play it for its Prowl cost then you’re playing this during your second main phase, which means you can’t use this to remove blockers unless you’re willing to pay the full 7 mana.
Remember, “punisher” effects often result in the opponent choosing the option that benefits you the least or harms them the least. Neither of which are what you want unless the “worst” option on the spell is good baseline, like Fact or Fiction (which is often draw 3+ cards that are marginal or 1-2 cards you really want).
10. Color-restricted
Hibernation (6.5), Wash Out (4.5), Llawan, Cephalid Empress (3), and Inundate (2). This category can’t hit colorless artifacts or creatures, so you aren’t shutting down artifact engines with these spells. Overall these are very narrow effects, but in certain situations they can be quite potent. Despite Hibernation only hitting Green permanents, it is so cost-efficient that even with penalties it scores very well. Wash Out only hits one color, and you may be forced to name a color that affects you in dire situations. Llawan is very narrow, but also prevents opponents from even casting blue creatures until she is removed, so that’s nice. Inundate actually hits 4 other colors but costs 6 mana for a sorcery-speed effect that only affects creatures.
RIP Cephalids (recently absorbed into the Octopus creature type).
9. Creatures Only
Evacuation (5) and Faerie Slumber Party (3). Some categories are smaller than others, and while other cards also hit creatures only, these didn’t have any other interesting restrictions or stipulations. These are some no-frills spells here, and both are notably symmetrical. Faerie Slumber Party takes a hit since it is sorcery speed, but it can leave you ahead on board at least.
8. X or Less
Displacement Wave (4.5) and Profaner of the Dead (4). Another small category, Displacement Wave keys off X paid into the cost of the spell while Profaner depends on the exploited creature’s toughness. I used X=5 for Displacement Wave’s cost, as hitting toughness 5 or less creatures deals with a fair amount of problematic boards. This runs into the same issue as the Island-based category in that such effects don’t deal with big creatures. You’ll need targeted removal or spells that affect all attacking creatures (a category featured in part 3!). Profaner of the Dead can get around this is you have some beefy creatures to sacrifice and it is asymmetrical which is nice. Profaner’s setup cost can be hefty, and it definitely doesn’t fit into every deck. But I’d probably consider it for Grixis aristocrats decks and defender decks like Arcades, the Strategist.
That covers 28 of the 45 cards, and while there were a few decent cards in the bunch, most fall very short since they only hit creatures, are sorcery-speed, have steep setup costs, or have multiple restrictions. The best of these by the numbers are Hibernation (6.5), Thing in the Ice (5), Decoy Gambit (5), and Evacuation (5). Hibernation is extremely narrow, and Decoy Gambit isn’t always an effective board wipe (nor an effective card draw spell), so let’s look at the better options:
Even in a dedicated spellslinger deck, you often play support creatures that you’ want to stick around on the board such as Goblin Electromancer. Not even Voracious Reader is a Horror (he is but a mere Eldrazi). Still, Thing in the Ice is a good option if you aren’t making a lot of tokens or don’t need the support creatures. As an instant and sorcery afficionado I like Thing in the Ice, but I try to be responsible and play at least some creatures in my spellslinger decks. A 7/8 Horror is a beefy threat, but Thing in the Ice requires you to build around it unless you want to set yourself back. If your spellslinger deck is mainly artifacts and enchantments, then this fits quite well.
Evacuation simply does what it says on the tin and plays well in a deck that also would want Thing in the Ice (low creature count, lots of instants and sorceries). Evacuation is a control card that also plays well in artifact- and enchantment-based decks, similar to how Propaganda can buy you time while you build your engine. Enchantress decks in particular don’t mind when you bounce your own enchantment creatures, allowing you to replay them for extra card draw and constellation triggers (Eidolon of Blossoms does all of the above).
The thing about Cyclonic Rift is that it plays well regardless of your strategy. It removes blockers, it removes attackers, it stops engines (temporarily), and it preserves your own board. Kederekt Leviathan might be the best alternative out of this initial batch, actually, but it is not instant-speed so it doesn’t throw a wrench in an opponent’s engine that is in the process of popping off. It hits your own board as well but leaves you with a 5/5 body as a consolation prize. Join me in part 3 where we discuss the remaining cards and get to some much more palatable Rift replacements.
